Shields, Girls and Dating Sims
by ByteOfBacon
Summary: I'm supposed to be a Hero? Well, I could, but there are so many shiny women... Where Naofumi becomes Melromarc's greatest playboy with his dating sim powers. Rated T for sexy situations.
1. Shields, Girls and Dating Sims

**A/N: This idea came at me with full force at exactly 11:52 PM on a Saturday Night. I then spent that night writing this. And then the following night. And the nights after that.**

**Inspired by a video on Katawa Shoujo (the dating sim), completely ripped off of SAO: The Eroge (Seriously, SaintInfernalNeos is a great author and gets all credit for the idea. Check him out.), and obviously based on Shield Hero. I have made Naofumi a bit(read: completely) OOC according to the anime, but the WN portrays him a little bit like this, and It's plot convenience, so meh. That's it, so enjoy!**

_Isekai Dating Sim Help Manual_

_Welcome to a brand new world. Here you can fight monsters, become rich, or the best thing, become a playboy! This manual here shows you the stepping stones to getting your first girl!_

_Tip 1: Don't panic. You may be confused, but it's alright. Those worries will be washed away soon by romance!_

* * *

"Be careful what you wish for."

It's an old saying. One repeated time and time again, the moral of many stories. Something embedded in children's books and poems alike.

It's something we all should follow. I didn't. And I couldn't be more glad.

Introductions, right? I'm Naofumi Iwatani. I live with my parents. They gave up on me once they found my… sizable collection of adult entertainment. They pushed my little brother into doing good in school and "not becoming a degenerate" like me. It must've broken the little guy, cause he ended up getting involved in something about a gang, drugs, and playboys. I corrected him.

By "correcting" him, I mean introducing him to the world of 2D women and body pillows. The world gained a new otaku that day, and I couldn't be prouder. I glanced in his room. A bottle of lotion sat on his desk. Nope. Not today, Satan.

I proceeded downstairs and poured myself a bowl of tasteless cornflakes and nearly expired milk. Living at home with allowance was a good thing, but luxuries were still out of reach. I mean, I could get a job to add to my income. Pfft. Not gonna happen. Not unless some tropey, big titty onee-chan is my boss.

I opened the door and covered my eyes. Sunny day. If I was normal, I'd enjoy this. But I'm not. I get my Vitamin D from the milk I just ate, thank you. Ate? Drank? I mean you eat cereal, but milk is meant to be drinked. Drank? Ugh, language confuses me.

I walked down the road, slouching. The green hoodie I was wearing had a brown stain on it. I sniffed it quickly. No scent. Oh well, I can reuse it tomorrow. Two girls were chatting on the opposite side of the road. I scanned them. Neither's bust was particularly impressive. The left's behind was above average, but not anything noteworthy. I averted my eyes as they glanced up. Nothing to see here ladies, just an otaku who ran out of money, that's all.

I entered the library. The faint smell of paper wafted towards me. I welcomed the scent. I continued my way to the Light Novel section. Hopefully, they'd updated the number of titles they have. I browsed the top shelf. Read that one, that one too, also that, wait! Ah! They have the new volume of Strawberry Girls! My brother would have his lotion bottle empty over this! I grabbed the book and pulled it from the shelf. Friction between the other books caused a red book I hadn't noticed before fall onto my head. It was quite heavy. "Damn it!" I cursed under my breath. I held my copy of Strawberry Girls volume 7 in my hand tight. I picked up the book that had fallen. "The four cardinal weapons?" I read. A shonen? Nah, not my type. I was going to put the book back, but an Illustration caught my eye.

"Hm, this girl in here has a nice bust," I commented. I flipped to the front of the book. At least know the plot of the book before enjoying it. The story seemed to be about 4 heroes who would have to save the world. They were summoned from different worlds. "Ah, an isekai," I said to no one. I flipped through the pages. The heroes seemed charismatic. They wielded four weapons. One got a bow, another got a sword, one got a spear and then the last guy got a Shield. I scoffed. "A shield isn't even a weapon. I flipped to the Shield Hero's pages. The first page described the game-like menu he had. "Aw, I want to be in a dating sim like this guy!" I said. I flipped to the next page. It was blank.

"What the-" I didn't finish my sentence as the book floated from my hands and glowed yellow. The library fell away. Before I knew it, I was falling. "Woahhhh!" I yelled.

I landed on a cold floor with an oomph. It was a wet floor. "Ah, it worked!" I heard a voice say. I looked up from the floor and saw a bunch of people surrounding me. Or rather us. Three other guys landed standing next to me. They're lucky. I stood up. My hoodie now smelled of mildew. I noticed a weight on my arm. I looked down and saw a shield with a green gem in its center. It wasn't a very large shield. I looked at the other people beside me. They were holding a spear, a sword, and a bow. Oh fuck, did I just become part of that light novel?

"So, are you all gonna tell us where we are?" The one with the sword called out. The pattern that had been glowing on the floor stopped shining. "Heroes! Please save our world!" The men in robes fell to their knees and bowed. The other heroes went "Huh?" I just looked away. I'm gonna just cut the bullshit. This is an isekai. I'm gonna now have to defeat some demon king, have to do some shit, and never go back home. If I'm the protagonist though, I'll get myself a sweet harem. Nice!

"Look, I know what we're supposed to do, they probably now know what we're supposed to do. Just take us to your Leader or something." My bored expression turned to an amused smile at the reference. The robed man waved us forward. "Come. The king would like to have a royal audience with you." The spearman planted the back of his weapon into the ground. "Don't think we'll do this for free." The other two spoke up. "Yeah, what are our rewards for saving you?" The yellow-haired boy asked. Royalty, much?

"Come with us. The king will meet with you and you can discuss terms there." The robed man waved for us. The other "heroes" and I followed them. "It smells nice here. The breeze is fresh." The sword guy said. "Yeah, I'd say the climate's eastern Mediterranean. Right, Shield?" I glanced up. "Don't ask me. I barely left my house back in Japan." They shook their heads like I was supposed to be a rich traveler.

We entered a large hall. For the first time, I got a good look at the other heroes. The bow hero was a yellow-haired teenager. He looked like he just hit puberty. The one with a sword was a mature, black haired guy. He'd be around my age. The spear guy looked older, but his uniform suggested he was still in high school. He glanced at me. His eyes bulged when they reached my right hand. "S-Strawberry Girls!?" I smirked at him. "Volume seven. Fresh from the library, practically brand new." I waved the raunchy cover in his face and he drooled. The other two heroes rolled their eyes.

"I am Aultcray Melromarc the 32nd man to bear that name." A large old man sitting on a throne bellowed. He wore some robes lined with fur. A crown sat upon his head. "I am the king of these lands. If you're able to save us from the waves of destruction, we will reward you handsomely. Now, Heroes! Speak your names!" The other heroes stepped forward. "Ren Amaki. 16 years old. High school student." The one with a sword said. He was a typical pretty boy. Brown streaks, neat hair and short stature. If he cross dressed, I wouldn't blame a guy for thinking he was a girl.

The guy in overwhelming yellow stepped up. "Itsuki Kamasuki. 17 years old and a high school student." He had wavy hair and had a rich kid aura.

The spear guy who was still eyeing the light novel in my hands spoke. "Motoyasu Kimura. 21, college student." Huh. Why was he wearing a high school uniform then? His body looked like the foreign men I've seen online. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a playboy. I stepped up to speak. "Yo. Naofumi Iwat-" The king cut me off.

"Yes, Ren, Itsuki and Motoyasu." Ignoring me? I'm taking that as a challenge. "Hey, you're forgetting me!" I called out. The king looked at me. "Ah, yes. The _Shield _Hero." Oh, the tone he has when he says, Shield. "Naofumi Iwatani. 20 years old. College student." He looks away from me. "You have been summoned to fight the waves of Destruction. They are predicted to come by the ancient Dragon Hourglasses. The first we underestimated. We fought off the monsters, but we realize the importance of the heroes now. Please save our world!" The robed man steps forward. "Please, check your status, heroes." I quirked an eyebrow. "Status?" Itsuki asked. "It's the first thing you should have noticed. Look in the corner of your vision." I followed his instruction to find two icons. One was pink with a heart in it and the other was an icon with three dots.

Wait, why was there an Icon with hearts on it? My thoughts seemed to activate the icon because I heard a chime. It wasn't from around me, it was coming straight into my head. A menu popped up in front of me.

『Would you like to enter Dating Sim Mode?』

Warning: Will disable RPG mode permanently.

『YES』 『NO』

Oh hell yeah! My brain immediately said yes, and the prompt disappeared. I heard more chimes and small boxes appeared in the top right of my vision.

「Tutorial Complete!」

「Protagonist Title Unlocked!」

「Menu Unlocked!」

Hell yeah! My life's a dating sim! Now all I need is a harem! I started hearing the other heroes grumbling. "Level one? No skills? Ugh." Oh yeah, the other part of this world. I looked back to where the icons were. "Hey, the three dots on my menu is grayed out," I said. The other heroes looked at me. "What do you mean?" Motoyasu asked.

"It's just grey. I can't open it or anything." The other heroes looked at their icons. "I got a heart icon greyed out next to mine," Ren said. Itsuki and Motoyasu had the same thing. "Oh great, dating sim mode disabled 'how to survive' mode," I grumbled. "Dating sim mode?" Motoyasu asked. I sighed. "Forget it."

"We can party up and head out tomorrow," I suggested. "The heroes' weapons cannot be trained together. It will stunt the user's growth. They also cannot use any other weapon." The robed man said, "Wait, I just have a shield! How am I supposed to fight?" The king ignored me. "Tomorrow adventurers from across the nation will gather here to form your parties. Take today to rest. The servants will show you to your rooms." A butler and a maid gestured us to a door.

"Meet up in the common room in an hour," Ren said. Everyone nodded. "See ya." I said. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. "Great. I'm in an isekai where I can't use weapons, RPG elements are gone and I can't for the life of me figure out how the hell I'm supposed to improve." I slammed my hand against the door in frustration. "Might as well figure out what this whole dating sim thing is."

I focused on the heart Icon. It opened a simple menu, most of which was familiar to me. Routes, Gallery, Achievements, Titles, and Tree. The last one caught my eye. I focused on it. It opened to a large web. Most had question marks. The one in the center said "Basic Shield." Five stats also were listed in the corner.

**Muscle: 2/100**

**Your raw strength and power. Improve by completing feats of strength.**

**Wit: 12/100**

**Your ability to deliver quips and jokes. Improve by completing feats of social interaction.**

**Talent:4/100**

**Your ability to pick up and display talent in skills. Improve by completing feats of knowledge.**

**Creativity:7/100**

**Your ability to create and appreciate works of art. Improve by completing feats of creation.**

**Karma: Middling**

**Your moral score. Raise or lower by completing Cursed or Blessed feats.**

This was way too complicated for some $2.99 dating sim online. I'm going to need to improve these I guess. I used the pink - why is everything so pink? - X icon in the corner. It brought me back to the menu. I noticed a small icon marked 《HELP》in the corner. I focused on the button. Oh boy, reading.

To sum it up in quick bits, girls had affection points (AP) I could raise. They were gained for completing "feats" which raised my stats. The amount of AP I got depended on the stats I had and the preferences of that girl.

Whoever designed this is either someone who put way too much game into the dating sim game, or just overestimating the actual amount of effort needed for one of these. I decided not to dive into the madness any longer, as a helpful church reminded me of the time.

I entered the common room. Everyone else had already gathered. "Too you long enough." Ren said. I brushed him off. "Let's get down to business. Have we all seen something like this back in Japan? This is all so, game-like." Motoyasu snorted. "You mean it is a game." I looked at him "Never played one like this."

"This is like Emerald Online."

"What's that? The only big MMOs I know are Odin Online and Fantasy Moon Online." I totally played them both for the game. Not the skimpy outfits. Completely for the game. Okay, not even I can believe that, and the easiest person to lie to is yourself, aside from your mother.

"Never heard of those."

Ren piped in. "I haven't heard of any of those. This one is like Brave Star Online. You know, the VRMMO."

"This is more like Dimension Wave. The console game." Itsuki said. He had a certain smugness to him that made me want to ensure his face was caved in. "Console game? That's ancient hardware."

"Wait, aren't VRMMOs just in sci-fi stories?" I said. Itsuki and Motoyasu nodded in agreement. "I guess we're from different time periods." Itsuki stepped out from the shadows. Motoyasu snapped his fingers. "Ah, let's ask regular everyday questions. We should know them even if we're from the past or future." Not a bad idea. Maybe he's not so stupid.

"Who's the prime minister?" I asked. We all responded with differing answers. Okay, I take that thought back. We each asked questions and got different answers. "Parallel worlds, huh? His is just like that one bunny girl anime…" Motoyasu glared at me. "Now's not the time for mentioning masterpieces of eroge work." I gave him a look.

"What are you talking about? Eroge? Sure there are innuendos, but that's a little much, buddy." Itsuki and Ren rolled their eyes and started to leave. Wise choice. An otaku vs. otaku argument is something to watch from afar. "Isn't that like a eromanga? Like strawberry girls."

"Are you kidding me? Strawberry Girls is the farthest thing from eromanga. It's for little girls. I have it for… reasons."

"Ah, your version of strawberry girls seems different from mine," Motoyasu said. A hint of despair was in his voice.

I left to go back to my room. In the morning, I'll figure all this out. Just before bed, I focused once more on the heart-shaped icon. It chimed and the "menu" slid into view. I used my mental fingers to tap on the "Titles" icon. It chimed again and brang up a list. One was highlighted in pink while others were greyed out.

「The Protagonist」

Unlocks Sim abilities. When necessary, will incorporate abilities from other groups.

I closed out of the list and opened the next icon. Achievements. Only one was shown. It branched down into paths. It seems they were grouped into three categories. Ones going down the left branch were green, those going down the middle branch were yellow, and the ones on the right were red. The achievement shown was grey.

「Isekai」

You've made it to this new world. Now figure out the next step.

Still very complicated for a dating sim. As the last stop on my journey of discovery, I clicked on the help manual. I read until the clock told me it was midnight. I extinguished the candles and turned over. Tomorrow I can finally get a girl!

The next day, I woke up early. It took me a second to remember the previous day. I looked in the room and found a tunic and pants. I pulled them on and made my way to the throne room. I yawned as the other heroes gathered. The king was the last one to come.

"Heroes, these fine adventurers here have come to join your cause." He gestured and two doors opened on either side. 12 people filed out with varying amounts of equipment. "Adventurers, pick your heroes!" The adventurers started to walk towards their desired heroes. My mood dropped like a stone as the adventurers all gathered around the other heroes. I was left with none.

What the fuck? "Ah, this is an… unfortunate situation." That's one hell of an understatement. "Ren, gimme some of your guys. You don't need 5 members!" Ren waved me off. "Anyone not strong enough is free to leave and join Naofumi's party." Not a single one moved. Motoyasu rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it's not my fault these adventurers picked me." The king looked at me. "Well, you-" He was cut off by a woman's voice.

"I will join the Shield Hero's party." A girl walked away from Motoyasu's group. She had red hair and jewelry hanging from her neck. A sheath held a longsword on her side. "My name's Myne. I'll come with you, Shield Hero-sama." She smiled at me. A chime brought my eyes to the corner of my vision.

「Route Unlock!」

Get your AP with Myne above 100 before the end of the day to unlock her route!

A meter appeared above Myne's head. A number appeared next to it. 0/100.

"Alright. The Shield Hero will be given extra money to recruit others to his party." The king waved the heroes away and we left with our parties. I covered my eyes as the sun's glare put itself in my face. "Do you need any equipment?" I asked. Myne shook her head. We set out to the fields near the town. Orange balloons (with teeth?) seemed to be the training monster of choice.

I spent ten minutes punching this one balloon to death. Myne had killed seven. I collected the scraps. "You think we could sell these for anything?" I asked her. "Sure, but they're worth only a single copper coin."

"Hm, this says I could absorb the drops into my shield." I looked at the help menu now permanently pinned to my vision. I dropped the orange scrap into my Shield.

「Shield Unlocked」

Red Shield. Equip Bonus of 1S2W

「Achievement Unlocked」

Weaponless.

「Feat Completed」

Weak Feat of Strength Complete! +1S

「AP Gain!」

+10 AP with Myne

I looked in the Help menu. It seemed that the stats were abbreviated with their first letter. "It's getting dark. We should go to the inn and then come back tomorrow." I said. Myne nodded. We headed back into the town and I found a cheap inn. We ate dinner at the restaurant.

"Come try the wine, Shield-Sama." Myne held a glass of crimson liquid in front of me. "Sorry, but I don't like the taste of alcohol. Also, calling me Naofumi is fine." I looked back around the restaurant. The food was nice. I glanced at the bar over Myne's head

(—-/ ) 45/100 AP

I guess Myne like wine (Heh, rhyming) enough to raise AP when I buy it. She frowned when I declined. She finished the wine from her glass, then started to sip from the glass she offered me. "I'll turn in early," I said. I got up from the table and headed to my room.

I looked in the top left corner of my vision. Myne's bar was there, displaying the 45 AP I had gained over the day. It was a shame I couldn't increase it more. I heard a chime as soon as I finished the thought.

「Would you like to restart the last scene?」

「Yes」 「No」

Without thinking, my brain thought "Yes."

I saw my vision go grey and the feeling of my body being teleported back to the restaurant. "Shall we go seat ourselves, Shield-sama?" I heard the chirpy voice of Myne behind me. Her bar displayed the 25 AP I raised before entering the restaurant.

"Yeah, let's go." I sat myself at the same booth as we had before. A waiter deposited two menus on the table. I noticed Myne staring at the rack of wine bottles. "It's fine if you order some wine. Just don't splurge." Her eyes lit up.

「AP Gain!」

+30 AP

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Blessed Feat of Generosity! Karma Up!

30 AP!? Wow, Myne must like wine a whole lot. Her bar now displayed 55 AP. We ate our separate meals. "Would you like some wine, Naofumi?" I was going to accept, but I saw the world go grey and three choices appear in front of me. A dropped fork from the table next to us floated mid-air, and the drinks the bartender were pouring stayed in their places.

A tip opened itself in the corner of my vision.

Sometimes, you will get a set of three choices to act upon.

Choose one to continue. Time will stay frozen until you

make a choice.

The mentioned three choices appeared on the screen, as well as Myne's question.

Wine is my favorite!

I'll Pass, I don't like wine.

I want more than just Wine, Myne.

My eyes bulged at the obvious invitation in the last option. Then again, it would be really funny…

Ah, what the hell. I could always restart if I wanted to. I mentally tapped C. Color returned to my vision and I felt myself speaking.

"Sure, I'll take the wine." I took the glass and took a sip. "Just know, this isn't all I want." I resumed control of my body after my face twisted into a devious smirk. Myne had a spot of pink adorning her cheeks.

"Eh, well…" Myne looked a little hot.

「AP Gain!」

You Embarrassed her with an Innuendo! +44 AP.

Aw, come on! The bar above Myne's head was now almost full at 99/100. "I think I'll go to my room now," Myne said. I smiled and waved good night. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

I just didn't realize how much I lost the next day.

**A/N: Yeah. 4K. This took me 5 days to write, and honestly, it would have been longer if I hadn't stopped myself to write updates for my other fic (Twinning) and also to sleep. Because, and this comes as a shock to everyone, humans need sleep. **

**Check out SaintInfernalNeos's SAO: The Eroge fic to see where the ****entire fic ****inspiration came from. I obviously won't be completely ripping off of him, but the idea is still his. This is just me taking that square peg of an idea and shoving it into the circular hole that is this fandom. **

**See you next time for:**

**Chapter 2: Slaves are now my Waifus.**


	2. Slaves Are My Waifus

**A/N: Woah. Almost 50 follows and favorites on just the first chapter. What!? This idea is too silly to gain that much. Oh well…**

**For those of you who read my other fic, Twinning, quick note at the bottom for y'all.**

**(Disclaimer: SaintInfernalNeos gave me the inspiration for this fic. Check out SAO: The Eroge for the original idea.**

**I do not own Shield Hero. Not ever. If I did, It'd be much worse probably.)**

**Enjoy!**

_Isekai Dating Sim Help Manual_

_Route Unlocks:_

_All routes require a minimum of 100 AP. This means, to progress with a girl, you must get their AP above 100 in your first encounter. Afterward, your AP will reset. You can raise it again to try to unlock the route, however, some are only unlockable once._

_After your first encounter with a girl who can only be unlocked once, you will not be able to raise your AP with that girl again. These girls may have special options when first encountering them._

* * *

Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck.

I was standing in front of the king, wearing only pants and robbed of my stuff. My current worldly possessions were my shield, the pants on my legs, and the 20 coins I carried on the inside of my shield.

"You've got the wrong guy! I was robbed!" I yelled. Myne was holding onto Motoyasu. Her face was contorted in terror. "Myne, please testify." Myne stepped up, trembling.

"T-The Shield Hero, he came into my room and pushed me down. He said 'the night is still young' a-and he…" Myne burst into tears. Motoyasu took her into his arms. What was she talking about!?

"You went to bed early after our dinner!" I yelled. The looks of disgust from everyone in the room told me that they didn't believe me. "Sexual assault is one of the worst crimes one can commit in Melromarc." The king looked at me with a face of pure contempt. "I cannot punish you, as you are needed for the waves. The rumours of this act have already spread. That will be your punishment. Know you will never be respected in any land."

I gaped. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Myne. She had two fingers behind her back crossed. Her face was smiling. "You bitch!" I yelled. She flinched and ran into Motoyasu.

"Begone, Shield Demon!" The king ordered. The guards pushed me back and shoved me outside. I grunted. Anything I yell now would make me look bad, no matter how true it was or how much I wanted to say it. Is this what happens when the AP bar isn't filled?

「Title Unlock!」

Disgraced Hero. New paths Unlocked.

New paths unlocked? That for some reason seems very ominous. Also, fuck you Dating Sim.

I started to stroll down the streets. Mothers hurried their children away, keeping them a far distance away from me. Most women avoided being within two meters of me. Murmurs and whispers filled the air. I bulled my way through the clouds into a shop.

"Hello, how can I he-" The man's voice suddenly stopped. I looked up. A big, burly man was standing behind the counter. His business smile turned into an angry frown. He came around the counter and pushed me up the wall. "You raped that girl, didn't you?" I turned my face away from him,

"Another person who doesn't believe me," I muttered. I honestly didn't care at this point. He analyzed me for a second, then put me down. I started to leave. The door was halfway open. I felt something soft hit the back of my head. "Wha-" I looked behind me to see a shirt and a cloak on the floor.

"Clearing stock. Come back with 3 silvers later." I grunted in acknowledgement and put the shirt and cloak on. Better than nothing, huh? I tossed three coins at the man's head and walked away.

I spent the rest of the day punching Orange Balloons. I noticed that they could bite me, but my skin was like metal. Their teeth wouldn't leave a scratch. As a test, I slid one under my arm. It attached itself to the shirt. The shirt was undamaged. I took two more and shoved them inside my cloak.

The orange scraps fit in my pocket. I shoved it in with the measly 15 silvers I had to my name. "Wait…" I took another one of the pieces out. I held it next to my shield. The gem glowed and the scrap was dissolved.

「Shield Unlock!」

Yellow Shield

+2S

Orange Shield

+1C

Hm. The shields give me a stat boost. I brought up the menu. The "Tree" section had two new circles branching off of the "Basic Shield" type. When I focused on each of them, their names and stat bonuses popped up in a small window. I closed out of the menu.

I walked back to the city. A man seemed to be buying monster drops. He offered to another adventure a copper coin for two scraps. I walked up to the counter. "I'd like to sell these, please." I placed a handful of scraps on the counter. He looked at me deviously. "Eh, these scraps will be a copper coming for ten." I grit my teeth. "You offered the last guy one coin for two." He shrugged. "Oh, did I?"

I met his smirk with the three balloons in my cloak. He started to yell and wriggle around. Hopefully, he won't be too scarred. I let him out after a minute. A shallow cut ran across his forehead. Angry red marks littered his face. "So, have we got a fair deal?" He nodded. I set him down. He handed me a bag of coins.

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Cursed Feat of Wrath. Karma Down!

Whatever. I don't care about my arbitrary Karma.

I tried to check into different inns, yet they all said that they were full. I bought a sleeping mat. I placed it underneath a bridge and started to sulk. Damn it. I thought I could trust her just because this shitty dating sim told me to. Ugh.

I spent the next week farming the grasslands outside the city. Then I'd sell the scraps to traders. If they offered me a terrible price, I'd convince them with the help of my buddies sitting under my arm. I'd force my way into a bar, eat the cheapest meal I could find, and then sleep under the bridge. Every single inn I went to denied me access.

I need more offensive power. Feats of strength, I presume. I haven't thought about "Routes" since… Bitch. Yeah, Bitch-Chan is a good name. I need something that can fight for me. The man in the shop told me party members share exp, so a party member at all would be nice. Better if they're loyal through the dating sim.

What the hell? I'm thinking of exploiting people's love for my benefit. That's… not good. I might need a mental checkup. Dr Phil needs to come and knock on my door soon.

"Would you like someone you can always trust? Someone who can't betray you?" I jumped at the sudden voice. An old man in strange clothing was standing by the end of the bridge. "Go on." He smiled. "I run a certain business. Come with me." He gestured for me to follow. His offer was intriguing. Someone who can't betray me?

I packed up the sleeping mat and followed the shady man. He chuckled. The sky was still a brazen orange. He showed me into a tent. I stepped inside.

Cages stacked up high lined the walls.

"Slaves? What makes you think I want a slave?"

"I can see it in your eyes, boy. You need someone dependable, competent, and most of all loyal. Slaves are all three."

He has a good point. A slave can't betray me, and a slave would improve my offence. "Just replenished my stock." He shows me towards a cage. He draws back a cover to reveal a large half-wolf. Heh, doubt I can unlock this one's route.

「Would you like to switch your sexual preference to male?」

「Yes」 「No」

Uh, no thanks, Dating Sim. I'm straight, thank you very much. The prompt disappeared. "This here is a level 70 beastman." Hm. Strong. "How much?"

I knew the price was going to be absurdly high. This man wouldn't be a trader if it wasn't.

"20 gold coins." Told you so. "Showing me your most expensive merchandise so that when I can afford it, I'll come back?" The trader chuckled. "You're a sharp one, lad." I nodded along.

「Feat Completed!」

Minor feat of Wit complete! +2

What? Does that count as Wit? Hm. Weird, but noted. "Show me your cheapest." The trader frowned. "This way." His tone was more business-like. He's probably sad he won't extort large amounts of money out of me.

He shows me to three cages tucked into a corner. The first is a sickly looking man, covered in scales. The second was a coughing, pale little girl with racoon ears and a dirty tail. The third is a woman, half dead. I shuddered. She looked too much like that red-haired bitch.

"They're not so well suited for labour nor combat, so I assume you'll want the women? Unless you swing the other way…" The trader cackled. "I didn't do it!" He clicked his tongue. "Ah, So the rumours are false then."

"How much are they?" I asked. "The one on the left is 55 silvers, then 35, then 45." The man pointed at them with the cane. The world's colours faded and three options presented themselves.

A: Take the Lizardman

B: Take the Tanuki Girl

C: Take the Sick Woman

[Warning: Choosing wrong will block a girl's route forever.]

The message below the choices was ominous. Very ominous.

The racoon girl was the cheapest. The lizardman was out of my price range. And the Sick woman… well, just no.

"I'll take the tanuki girl in the centre." The girl perked up. She shook her head faintly and backed up inside the cage.

The girl was dragged out of the cage. As she did so, a prompt appeared in my vision.

「Title Unlock!」

Slave Trading Hero. +1S2T

「Feature Unlock!」

Features have been unlocked. See the new "Abilities" tab.

「Ability Unlock!」

Gained: Slave Care

Temporarily Doubles your slave's stats while taking 10% of your stats.

Gained: Slave Drain

Halves your slave's stats while raising your stats by 10%

Oh great. The Dating Sim is judging me. That's just wonderful. Ugh. "To bind the slave to you, please offer some of your blood." The man asked. I pricked my finger and let my blood drip into a pan. He brushed it onto a circular pattern on the girl's chest. She writhed in pain and screamed as the pattern glowed. It went dark and she panted.

「Slave Acquired!」

You have acquired a slave. Options are now available inside the menu.

"She's now yours." I tossed a bag of coins at the man. He caught it. "There's one extra." He called out. "You were going to charge me for the binding service anyway." The trader laughed. "A smart lad, you are." I walked up to the tanuki girl. Her lower lip was quivering. "What's your name?" I asked. She looked up at me. "Do you not have one?" She shook her head. She murmured something. "Louder."

"R-Raphtalia." Hm. Cute.

「Route Unlocked!」

Get to 100 AP before the end of the day to unlock Raphtalia's Route.

Oh fuck. I brought this upon myself, didn't I? Well, let's hope I can fill that thing before this little girl screws me over somehow. I know she will. The little bar above her head appeared, as well as her name. Question marks filled a box under her name. "Let's go," I called. She followed me out of the slaver's tent. She had a slight limp as she walked. Her stomach grumbled as we exited the tent. She flushed and covered her stomach. "Ah!" I walked her to a restaurant I hadn't been to before. The man who had threatened me inside the store told me it was a cheap place for food. I noted Raphtalia eyeing a table. A kid was eating a full meal set. "One of your cheapest lunch sets and whatever he's having." I pointed my thumb at the kid. The waitress nodded. The amount of fearful and disgusted looks being sent my way wasn't surprising.

I sat at a booth. Raphtalia sat on the other side. "W-Why?" She timidly asked. I glanced away from the rest of the restaurant and looked at her. "You seemed hungry, right? Did you want something else?" She shook her head.

「AP Gain!」

You're the only person to feed her properly in 3 years! +25 AP.

Woah. That's a long time to be fed bad food. How is she even still alive? I think I'd rather not know the answer to that question. When they brought out the lunches, her eyes sparkled at the sight of food. She looked up at me. "C-can I?"

"It's your food. Eat it." She eagerly dug in. Her fingers were covered in rice as she stuffed it into her mouth. Her fingers clutched a little white flag placed on top of the rice. She mumbled something then stuffed a slice of meat and another piece of rice in her mouth.

「AP Gain!」

You brought back good memories! +10 AP!

Wow. Not even finished with lunch and we're already a third of the way there. It'll be easy to get her to 100 AP, won't it? I picked up a piece of lettuce from my plate and bit into it. No flavour. Either every meal I've eaten so far has been really bad, or I've lost my taste buds. Raphtalia was really enjoying hers. I slid a cup of water over to her as she started to stuff food into the pipe meant for air, not food.

We left the restaurant. Raphtalia seemed to be in a happy mood, humming and skipping along. People eyed me. I knew what they were thinking. "That Shield Demon got himself a little kid to enjoy himself." It was practically being yelled out by the faces of the folk. I entered the shop. I didn't bother learning the man's name so I just called him Uncle. He looked like the Uncle I had back in Japan. That uncle, however, is in jail now for reasons completely having nothing to do with me and a certain manga awakening his inner desires. I shuddered at the memory.

"Hey, Shield boy. What can-" His voice stopped when he looked at Raphtalia. I placed six coins on the counter. "I need a weapon, preferably a knife that this lil' girl can use." He stared at me and then sighed. "I don't make enough to deal with this…" he muttered. He went rummaging in his backroom. "Some new clothes would be nice, too." He grunted. "I'll add that as a freebie." He shoved the weapon and a small leather dress into my hands. I handed the knife to Raphtalia and had her hold it. She seemed comfortable, so I took the knife then let her change in a small stall that Uncle had.

She came out, looking a little dirty but at least out of her rags. We can camp at the river in the forest. "Raphtalia. Draw your knife." The little tanuki girl pulled it from the sheath on her belt. I pulled a balloon from my cloak. "Ah! A monster!" She dropped her knife and started shaking. "Stab it." She backed away and shook her head. The crest on her chest started to glow and she yelped. "It's going to keep hurting if you don't attack the balloon." Uncle was watching in astonishment. "I can't tell if the country has gone to hell or you're just a bad guy,"

Raphtalia picked up the knife and readied herself. The crest stopped glowing as she moved forwards. Her knife bounced off the Balloon. "Put your back into it," I said. She pulled back and stabbed again. This time the knife went through. A notification appeared in the corner of my vision.

「Route Feat Completed!」

You've slightly improved Raphtalia's combat prowess. 2S to her. 1S to you.

Huh. So she also has stats as I do. I wonder if by completing this first 100, I'll be able to see them. A thought that has been noted.

We went outside into the grasslands around the city. Raphtalia trembled as balloons jumped around freely in the meadows, biting at the air. "I'll keep them from hurting you. Just focus on killing them." She nodded and I heard her gulp. "Let's go."

The first balloon jumped at us. I took the bite then pulled it off. I held it in front of me. "Now!" Raphtalia stabbed the creature. It popped. In the hour we spent there, we killed more enemies that I had in the past week combined. Each time, our Strength stat went up a tiny bit. I noted that my arm held steadier than usual and Raphtalia's knife bounced off the balloons less often. "Let's go deeper in the forest." Raphtalia nodded. She seemed less fearful now.

Just as we were about to enter the wooded part of the forest, a red balloon jumps from the bushes. It aims for Raphtalia. I shoot my arm out and let it bite on my arm. "Raphtalia!" The girl stabs it from below.

「AP Gain!」

You protected her! +20 AP.

I take the scraps and put them in my satchel. I glance at the bar above her head. 55/100. I need to raise that. Raphtalia is breathing hard. I look up in the sky. It's not going to be raining. We can sleep outside. I absorb some of the red scraps into my shield.

「Shield Unlock!」

Red Small Shield! +1S

Unlocks Ability: Constitution

「Ability Unlock!」

Constitution: Converts your strength stat into pure defense. You're less affected by attacks as your strength goes up.

That's not a good thing. Now, I'll be completely relying on this little girl for my attack. Great.

As I complain internally about my luck, a new enemy appears. It's a jumping mushroom. A notification appears.

「Roux Mush」

A moving mushroom.

Hm. Why didn't that show up for the balloons? Are they too common? I bashed my shield against it. The mushroom bounced off like a balloon would. Raphtalia stabbed it.

「Shield Unlock!」

Mush Shield: +1T

Ability Unlock: Plant Sight 1

「Shield Unlock!」

Blue Mush Shield: +1T

「Shield Unlock!」

Green Mush Shield: +2T

Ability Unlock: Apprentice Compounding

Huh. Compounding… isn't that medicine? Interesting. It'll sell well, I think. We continued for another hour, but then it began to get dark. "Let's set up camp." I began to gather wood. One of us will have to stay up to watch the fire. I took a towel out of my satchel and gave it to Raphtalia. "Bathe in the river. I'll be in the river to watch for enemies." She flushed. "I won't look. Just yell if you see monsters from your side."

I spent the next half hour fishing in the river as Raphtalia bathed behind me. It's not being creepy to watch over her like this, right? Right? I mean, she is a Route, but she's also a little girl. But my brother's a lolicon and that is alr-

I stopped my train of thought right there. Nope. Not saying that. No. I am not endorsing a lolicon. I distracted myself by moving to the riverbed to deposit the fish and then look for medicinal herbs. They were easier to spot now. By the time Raphtalia finished, I had gathered a notable amount of medical herbs and fish. She covered herself with a towel and I handed her clothes back. I turned my back as she dressed.

「AP Gain!」

You showed her decency! +10 AP.

That's… very concerning. What had her previous owners done? She coughed and then tapped me on the shoulder. I led her back to the camp. I lit the bundle of sticks waiting there and skewered a few fish to cook. While they roasted, I experimented with medicine. The recipes came to me from my shield. Using some nearby rocks, I mashed some herbs.

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Feat of Knowledge! +2T

「Handcraft Complete!」

Low Quality Heal Pill: A pill that heals wounds. Apply directly on a wound for effect.

Not bad for a first try. I heard Raphtalia coughing again. Hm. I scrolled through the list of recipes on my menu. One piqued my interest.

**Regular Medicine:**

**Effective at curing a cold.**

I tried the recipe. The first time, the craft failed and black mush came out. The second time, a leaf filled with syrupy liquid was crafted. "Raphtalia." The girl turned her head towards me. "Drink this." I gave the small makeshift cup to the little girl. She took a tentative sip then forced it away from her mouth.

"Bitter…" She whined.

"Don't waste the medicine!" With coaxing though words and the slave crest, she gulped the medicine down. I decided to let her have the first rest. I watched the fire and periodically threw in a stick. Compounding gave me something to do so I wouldn't be too bored.

"Aaah!" I snapped my head around. Raphtalia had sat up from the sleeping mat and was crying. "Mama! Papa!" Is she having nightmares? I comforted her with a hug.

「AP Gain!」

Night Terrors Begone! +35 AP!

The bar in the top left corner of my vision filled. It sparkled and I heard a jingle play through my ears. The bar reset and a bronze star put itself next to the bar. A prompt filled my vision.

**「****Raphtalia****」**

**AP: 0/100 **

**1 Bronze Star**

**Relationship: Nice Master, Cute Slave**

**Raphtalia is a half-racoon Demi-human. She lost her parents in the waves and has been traded around and abused by slave owners ever since. You're the first owner to treat her decently, so she trusts you. **

Well… interesting.

**A/N: Hey! That took me only a week and a half to finish. 3.7k. Seeing that a recently updated fic I read had 20k updates, well I think it's a start. This fic is really fun to write.**

**Note to Twinning Readers: The next update will be a rewritten Interlude 2. It was rushed, and I apologize for it being both boring and bad. I'll be fixing it.**

**Since there have been so many reviews (11) I'll reply to some main points:**

**[Myne's route should have been unlocked!]**

**I never said her route was forever locked. We will see.**

**[I liked the fic!]**

**Thanks! I'll be updating more.**

**A certain review also makes me want to say this: **

**I'm not planning to Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V Saint's story. I'm just (to quote a certain person's very popular crossover) taking the ideas of one and the plot of another to make something funny. **

**I'm also going to test out a new thing. For the blessed souls that can spare the time to do concrit, then here's a google docs link for this chapter. It allows commenting.**

** (slash) 2Hu9DoG**

**See me next time for: Waves, Destruction and Doggos.**

**No, I do not regret that joke.**


	3. Waves, Destruction and Doggos

**A/N: Whoopsie. I took two months to write this. And a montht o begin writing again. Sorry. This chapter sat in my google drive untouched for a month. Stuff happened. Sorry. **

**Big announcements at the bottom.**

_Isekai Dating Sim Help Manual_

_Lust is defined as a longing desire for something or someone, usually in a sexual manner. This new world will have you lusting after lots of things!_

* * *

We spent the next day slashing at a few more balloons and then started off back towards Castle Town. I slipped Raphtalia more Medicine as she coughed. She frowned and took it.

「Cured!」

Raphtalia's stats are no longer affected by "Sickness"

Her new stats are:

4S 2W 3T 2C

Interesting. I can see her stats from now on. I checked my "Routes" tab in my menu. It listed her stats, as well as a disturbing sentence.

**Thoughts: The Medicine is too bitter…**

Uh, that's scary. I can see her thoughts? I mean, maybe useful in battle. I pinned the window to the side of my vision. Raphtalia didn't cough again as we traveled towards the city. I stopped by a shop. It's sign had a potion on it, so I assumed it was a pharmacy. I pulled on the door and let myself through. A bell jingled.

A man was working with something in his hands on his desk. He didn't look up as I entered. I set a bag of medicinal herbs and a few potions on his desk. "How much?" I asked. He glanced at the product then at me. "The Shield Hero, huh?" He sighed and put down some tools. He then examined the herbs inside the pouch.

"These are good. Where'd ya get them, sonny?" he asked. "In the forests out of town. They grow by the river bed." He then looked at the potions. "You acquainted with medicine-making?" I nodded. "A bit, yeah."

The man reached back and then set a mortar and pestle in front of me as well as a box. "Here's some old equipment. I'll trade ya this and some knowledge for your herbs and potions."

"Throw in 10 silvers." I said.

"Five." I nodded and we shook hands. He dropped the coin in my hand and took the herbs and potions. The man showed me how to make some more advanced medicines with the old tools and how to use the herbs. I left the store with new knowledge in mind.

「Talent Training!」

You were trained in Medicine. +3T

I dismissed the notification with a wave of my mental hand. I glanced back at Raphtalia She was eyeing something. I followed her gaze. She was looking at a group of kids playing with a ball enviously. A nearby stall seemed to be selling them. "Want one?" I asked. Raphtalia turned to me and started to shake her head vigorously. Her tail wagged anyway. I sighed and walked up to the stall.

"Those balls are made from balloon scraps, right? Here." I handed the buy some balloon scraps and a small amount of copper coin. He handed back a bouncy ball. I handed the thing to Raphtalia. She marveled at it. "You can play with it after we're done hunting or when we go for a break." I said. She nodded and started to bounce the ball. I let her play with it for a minute then took her back out to the meadows. We went a little deeper and found a new enemy.

「Eggy」

A sentient Rotten egg.

Huh. It jumped with tiny feet. I let it slip to my side and then bashed it into a tree. The egg cracked a little. Raphtalia rushed in and stabbed, prying at the crack. The thing burst open, covering her arm in smelly yolk.

**Thoughts: Ewwwww!**

She voiced her thoughts immediately with a shout. I scooped some eggshell and absorbed it into my shield.

「Shield Unlock!」

Egg Shield

Ability: Cooking 1

Huh. Cooking would be nice to have. We hunted a few more monsters and retreated to a riverside clearing. I fished with a fishing spear and Raphtalia bathed. I'd be next, I guess. The shield didn't react when I sharpened a stick for spearfishing. It probably thinks it's a tool. The fish seem to be treated like a resource rather than a monster.

I bathed after Raphtalia and then set the fish on skewers to roast. I added a bit of lemon to the fish Raphtalia would eat. She picked one of the skewers up after I signaled they were done.

"Mmmm!" She took a small bite at first, then began chomping down happily. I took a piece of another fish into my mouth. Tasteless. I hope this numb feeling of food in my mouth doesn't last too much longer.

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Feat of Talent! +2T +20AP to Raphtalia.

Raphtalia finished her fish on a stick and laid onto her sleeping mat. I took watch.

The next day, we venture even deeper into the forest. According to Bitch, there's a village just past here. I avoid going the direction she pointed me towards. We encounter a new enemy.

「Usapiru」

A rabid hare with sharp buck teeth.

It lunges for Raphtalia. I slide in to block. It bounces off my shield. What is it with this forest and unrealistically round animals? Everything we've encountered is close to a perfect sphere.

"Raphtalia! Stab it!" I hold down the hare with my shield. Raphtalia has a look of fear on her face. The buck teeth of the Usapiru made a grinding noise against my shield.

"B-But it'll bleed..." She holds her knife with shaking hands. I check the thoughts window.

**Thoughts: It's like murder if I kill it, right?**

She's young, so I guess it should be expected. "I order you to kill the Usapiru!" Her slave crest shines and she lets out a strangled cry.

「Feat Completed!」

Sinful Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

Fuck off, Dating Sim! I pushed harder on the Usapiru. "Raphtalia, If you can't kill things I can't do my job!"

"Y-Your job?"

"I have to fight the waves! I can't fight them by myself, so if you can't fight, I don't need you!"

「Feat Completed!」

Dastardly Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

"Arrrgh!" The Usapiru squealed under my Shield. "Damn you, DAT-"

My shout was cut off by the squelching sound of Raphtalia's knife sinking into the rabbit. She drew her knife back and stabbed again. The Usapiru went limp with a pained squeal.

Rather than the fear stained face she held before, this one was filled with determination and purpose. Her usually empty eyes seemed to be now be filled with something.

「Route Feat Complete!」

Strong feat of Strength! +5S to Raphtalia, +3S to you.

Oooh, lots of stats. I quickly checked my stats. 12 strength, 16 wit, 15 talent and 10 creativity. My karma level was now 'Sinful' level.

If I use my game knowledge, wouldn't that mean that there would be a hidden number behind that, which decreases with each bad action I take? What happens if it gets to 0?

Hm... thought needs to be put towards this.

* * *

"Hyaah!" Raphtalia sunk her knife into a porcupine. Another leapt from the bushes. I slammed it up with my shield. Raphtalia used my upwards facing shield as a stepping stone to jump upwards. She impaled the porcupine. It slid off her knife and she turned around. "I did it!" She raised her knife high.

「Route Feat Completed!」

Raphtalia did a Triple Kill! +5S to her. +3S to you.

Stat increases! After the Usapiru incident, mine and her stats had grown quite a bit. My strength was now 15 and hers was 14. I had gathered a bit of medicine now, and although the pharmacist in the town was giving me good prices, might as well scope out the nearby towns.

We travelled through the forest to a village. It had been marked on the map I got from Uncle. He tried to get me to call him his real name, Elhard or whatever, and I refused. My nicknames stick forever. That's right, lolicobro. I'm looking at you.

「Title Unlocked!」

Common Title: Name-Caller

You Nickname people without their consent. +3W. Karma down!

「Feat Completed!」

Minor Feat of Sloth! Karma Down!

"Damn it!" I punched a tree we walked by. I don't know if something will happen when my Karma hits 0, but it's probably not good. I haven't played much outside of the Dating Sim genre, but that one cyberpunk one had a karma bar like this. When it went down, the police decided you were shooting practice.

Though, he was a criminal...

Nevermind. I started to walk again. Raphtalia gave me a confused, concerned and sad look as I let my hand return to my side.

We continued through the forest, slaying the occasional Usapiru and Eggy. Raphtalia's nightmares were lessening now and the bags I first saw under her eyes were gone. Her bones finally started to have some meat on them. We reached the village I heard of.

We stood on the crest of a hill. One side of the town was flattened, but no structures stood on it. Most of the town was situated on the right. On the other side of the valley, another hill stood with what looked to be a mine in the side of it.

We walked down the hill and joined up with a path. We followed it into town. A few merchants stood in stalls on the side of the road, but the streets were mostly empty. I noticed a stall selling herbs and potions, so I approached it.

"Hey, you buying potions?" The man behind the counter nodded. I set out a few of the potions I had made. He picked one up and inspected it.

"Hm, good quality," he said. The liquid inside the bottle sloshed around. "I'll give ya 15 silvers for 5 of them." I nodded and slid five bottles to his side of the counter. He slid 20 coins back to me. The price isn't as good as the pharmacist, but I already came out here...

"Hey, why's the town so deserted? Barely any merchants and practically no villagers." I asked.

"This town used to be a mining town. The mine's been taken over by some monsters and no adventurer wants to waste their time here in this village." He complained. He waved his hands around angrily. He sat back down in his chair.

I walked over to another stall down the street. The owner had a pickaxe sitting against the counter and a few ores laid out. By his snoring, I assumed he was asleep. I kicked the pillar holding up an awning. The guy behind the counter made a snorting sound then a grunt.

"Huh? Whaddya want?" His voice was deep and rough.

"What's in the mine? I'm looking to make a quick buck." The man looked up from under his hat then shook his head.

"Don't waste yer time. The mine's been infested with these festering monsters. One bite and yer out. Lost Janken the other day cause the fool decided to go in." He lowered his hat over his face again. "Anythin' else, shield boy?"

"Mind if I borrow that pick of yours?" I said. He sighed and then picked it up.

"There's a spare in the shed. Come back with it. I'll be there in hell with you to make ya pay for it if ya don't. I warned ya." He pointed his thumb to a shed behind him. "If you do make it in there with your legs still on, the ore you're lookin' for is nice and blue. Kinda like a crystal thing." I nodded and signalled to Raphtalia that we were off. She came forwards.

I entered the shed he had pointed me to. A pickaxe, slightly rusted, sat against the wall. As I wandered over to it, I noticed a pile of rope sitting in a corner. I brought a piece up to my shield. It glowed in my hand, then disappeared.

「Shield Unlock!」

Rope Shield

+1S +2W

Ability Unlock: Air Strike Shield

Ability Unlock: Hook

I looked at the abilities in my menu. The first seemed to summon a shield in the air at my command. Effective range: 5 meters.

"Air Strike Shield!" I threw out my hand. Across the room, a translucent green shield appeared in the air. It stayed like that for a minute, then dissolved.

The other said it would cast out a grappling hook.

We ventured to the other side of the village. The mine had a few barrels rolled in front of it, so I cleared the way. We entered.

I lit the cave with a dim torch. Raphtalia clung to my side kind of... adorably.

After walking a few minutes, the cave opened into a large underground ravine. Lanterns hung around the cave. Ore sparkled from the ceiling like stars in the sky.

"Watch for any monsters," I said. Raphtalia nodded. I found a shiny outcrop of ore nearby the cave entrance. After a few knocks with the pickaxe, it fell from the wall. I picked it up in my hands.

「Wynd Ore」

A rare green ore useful in making wind-enchanted accessories

The ore was light and sparkling green. I stuffed it in a satchel. "They did say there were monsters around here," I said. I turned around. "I wonder where..."

I trailed off as I looked at Raphtalia. Her mouth was twisted in a silent scream and her eyes were dinner plates. I followed them to a double-headed Cerberus.

It jumped at us.

"Raphtalia!" I dived to her and rolled to the side with her in my arms. She screamed. The Cerberus chomped twice, once where Raphtalia used to stand, and again where we ended the roll. I ran in the opposite direction.

Wrong direction, though. The Cerberus trapped us on the edge of the ravine. Raphtalia was still shaking in my arms.

The Cerberus growled. I watched it closely. There were two options, die by Doggo, or die by fall damage. Not exactly the best of choices. This is like that one scene in that movie Hook...

Wait, the rope shield!

"Change Shield! Rope Shield!" The shield on my arm glowed. At the same time, the double-headed doggo launched its attack.

"Hold on!" I yelled. I tipped us back. My hand was centimeters away from the chomping teeth of the dog.

Raphtalia screamed as we fell. My shield finished transforming into a loop of rope around a gem metal piece. "Hook!" The rope unravelled and a grappling hook shot out. It stuck into the rock on the other side of the ravine. We slammed against the side of the ravine. I turned to protect Raphtalia from the force of the impact. The Constitution ability seems to have nulled most of the pain I feel.

Slowly, the rope began to retract and after a few minutes, we were near the top. I pushed Raphtalia up first, then pulled myself up. The hook reeled back into place with a click.

"Haah..." Raphtalia panted.

"You okay?" I asked. She didn't respond. I then saw a single tear drop from her face.

"Mommy... Daddy..." She started sobbing. I looked around for the dog monster. Gone. I took Raphtalia into my arms. She cried into my shoulder.

She must be thinking of her parents... did something like that kill them? I can see why she froze up...

We stayed like that for a minute, then a growling sound alerted me. I looked past Raphtalia to see the Cerberus in a position akin to a cat ready to pounce. I changed my shield to its basic shape. The creature stalked around for a minute then pounced.

I pushed Raphtalia to the side, letting me process her yelp for a moment. I barely raised my shield in time to block the first head from chomping on me. The second bit into my shoulder.

"Raphtalia! Stab it!" I yelled. She whimpered. She was looking between me and the Cerberus. Fuck, this hurts!

**Thoughts: [Unreadable]**

"I said to stab it!" The crest on Raphtalia's chest shined through her shirt. She yelped and scratched at it, curling up. Her knife clattered to the ground.

「Feat Completed!」

Dastardly Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

「Title Unlocked!」

Slave Abuser

+5S 2W. Karma Down!

「Achievement Unlock!」

Sadist

Use the slave crest more than 5 times.

Damn it! That Karma hasn't got much further to go. Fuck!

"You know what, forget it. Run out of the cave and fend off any monsters that come after you. I'll keep this monster busy. Go!"

I pushed back against the Cerberus. My shoes made scratching sounds at the ground. I glanced behind me.

Raphtalia's crest wasn't glowing anymore, but she was still curled up on the ground. Her knife laid beside her.

"No..." she said. She got up slowly and picked up her knife.

"Don't you leave me!"

She rushed forwards. Her knife sank into the underside of the Cerberus. It made an 'shhk' sound as she forced it down the length of the monster's belly. The Cerberus roared and threw me to the side. It then tried to bite at Raphtalia as she pulled her knife out.

"Air Strike Shield!" I threw my hand out and yelled. A green shield formed and the dog's head bounced off it. I ran over and blocked the second head from going around the shield.

Raphtalia moved to the left of the shield and made another cut down the length of its belly. She stabbed. A gush of greyish-red liquid covered her. The dog roared then fell to the side, it's insides spilling out.

Me and Raphtalia stood there for a moment, panting. I looked at her, and she looked at me. Our eyes met.

"Naofumi-sama!" Raphtalia jumped at me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

「Scene End!」

Aced it, my boy. +10S, +80AP

「Relationship Up!」

New Relationship:

Crushing on Master-chan!

Oh, you have to be kidding me...

Wait, is the Dating Sim talking to me?

「Yes.」

The fuck!?

* * *

On the day before the wave, me and Raphtalia gathered in front of the castle.

"It's hot..." Raphtalia complained.

"It is," I said. It kind of felt like an oven today. Summer, right? Ugh.

「I'm immune to temperature.」

Oh, fuck off, dating sim.

「I have a name.」

I don't care, you are an interface, you aren't speaking to me, I am not going insane. La, la, la.

「You can't ignore me, y'know.」

Shut up.

Thankfully, the dating sim did shut up. The nasal, high pitched voice made me want to slam my head into the rocks at my feet.

「That's mean.」

Grrrrgh...

I huffed and started walking up the steps to the castle. As I went up the steps, I contemplated the wrong, wrong decisions that led me here. I mean, harem? I can deal with that. A sentient dating app? I played DDLC, and even though it was fiction it still scared the crap outta me. Look how that turned out. Not today.

I entered the castle and followed a few signs to the dragon Hourglass. It was like any other hourglass, except floating, gold and surrounded by flashy stuff. The clicking sounds irked me.

When I looked at it, a timer in a (You guessed it!) pink window opened up. 20 hours, 43 minutes, and counting.

「And 2 seconds.」

I inwardly let out a groan. I swear, I need a saving roll for tuning out bullshit. Hopefully a 20.

"Ah, so the _Shield _Hero is here."

God damn it! Is this world out to crush my sanity!?

"What the hell do you want, Motoyasu?" I growled.

"Hey, you're talking to Motoyasu-sama!" I heard a shrill voice yell.

Fucking Bitch stealing my reputation, my gold my things my-

「You might suffer an aneurysm in your forehead.」

Raphtalia looked at me with concern. Probably from the bulging vein on my temple.

"Still wearing trash armour like that? Oh, I forgot. You can't fight, can you, Naofumi?"

「That vein could be burst with a pin.」

I stared in front of me. Control anger... don't let that Karma drop...

"Hey, answer when Motoyasu-sama talks to you!"

I turned around to face Bitch... wait is she grinding up against Motoyasu? No... I need a new name for her now.

Slut-san. There's a good one. I turned to face Slut-san and Motoyasu. He had some intricately designed plate armour and his spear in his hand. Slut-san had jewellery on her neck and a sword at her side. Tch.

"Hey. Who are you to talk to Naofumi-sama like that?" She moved between me and Team Anti-Me.

"Cute~"

Wait... Wait don't you-

Motoyasu darted forwards and took Raphtalia's hand. She yelped at the sudden contact.

"Hiya! I'm Motoyasu Kimura, 21, Single, and the Spear Hero! What your name, Gorgeous?"

It was at this moment a helpful tip appeared on my screen.

「Translation」

You may notice the local speech is like regular Japanese for you. That's because your legendary weapons translate this for you. However, know that not everything will translate over nicely.

Is that because of... oh.

"Wha-" Raphtalia turned three shades of red then slapped Motoyasu. Slut-san seemed disgusted at Motoyasu. Her mask slipped, I guess. What did "gorgeous" translate to?

"P-Pervert!"

I revelled in the knowledge that even Motoyasu's fangirls had reservations about him. Ohohoho, this is gonna be fun. Raphtalia drew her sword as Motoyasu stumbled back from the strength of her slap. That's what 30 strength points does.

"Wh-What?" Motoyasu held his cheek, shocked.

"Don't act innocent! You can't say such... risque things in public!"

"Huh!?" Motoyasu looked as confused as I was.

"What are you doing to Motoyasu-sama!?" Slut-san yelled. I laughed.

"Hey, when you molest a girl with your vocal chords, you microcephalic adipate, you'll get slapped."

I watched as everyone in the room had a question mark raised over their heads.

"It means small-brained, idiot." Motoyasu looked at me with surprise, then anger. He stormed over to me and reached for my collar. I ducked to the side and slammed him with my shield.

"Don't try me." I waved for Raphtalia. She sheathed her sword and followed me as a walked away from the hourglass.

"Hey! Don't think you can just do any-"

"Save your breath, Slut-san." She stumbled back, physically stunned by my words. I moved past her.

Itsuki, Ren, and their parties were watching from the doorway.

"Don't slow us down," Ren warned. Itsuki made a "un" of agreement.

"The same applies to you," I said. I stomped out of the castle and out of the street. Raphtalia followed me.

**Thoughts: I hope he's okay...**

Huh. I realized I hadn't lost any karma. That's-

「Feat Completed!」

Sinful Feat of Wrath! Karma Down!

Damn it, I jinxed it.

「I mean, I think ya deserve it.」

And the interface is talking to me again. Grrrrr...

After taking a few more corners, we entered Uncle's shop.

"Hi, Shield boy. Hey, Girly. What can I do for ya?" He said. I opened my mouth to say something, but Raphtalia cut me off.

"We're here to buy Naofumi some new armour."

"Huh?" I said. "No, you need a new swo-"

Raphtalia pulled a sword off the wall and unsheathed it until the tip threatened to fall out.

"You'll get new armour Naofumi. Or you will die."

The sword glinted as she slid the sword back into the sheath.

「Achievement Unlock!」

Fiesty One

Have a Route threaten your life.

I seriously fear for my life if that's an achievement. What comes next? Cannibalistic Lolis?

「That sounds like foreshadowing.」

Shit, that's gonna happen now, isn't it? Damn it!

Raphtalia was raving to the guy at the counter about how sharp it was. I tuned out the conversation. For some reason, Raphtalia drew pleasure the same way every RPG player does. Driving stats up. Although, to be fair that is one of the only reasons I try in this world.

"And here's a piece of armour I think the lad would like." I glanced over. He held a piece of chainmail in his hand. A little text sat next to it.

「Snake's Mail」

Adds Ability: Snake's Charisma

Halves your Karma stat.

Nope, nope, nope. I already lowered it enough, thanks.

I shook my head. He put the chain mail down. "I have some plate armour in your budget but..."

Me, Raphtalia and Uncle had the same thought at the same time. Not my look.

"What else do you have for Naofumi-sama?" Raphtalia asked.

"Well, I could custom make something for the lad by tomorrow."

"Oh, really? That'd be great! Thank you, Erhardt!"

Wait, that's his name? When'd she learn that? Huh.

"Sure. Just keep it under a hundred silvers." I placed a bag of silvers for Raphtalia's new sword. HE nodded.

We exited the store and made our way into an inn.

* * *

On the day of the Wave, me and Raphtalia first went to Erhardt's shop. As soon as we entered, he smiled.

"Hey there, laddie. I think you'll like this."

He walked into the back room and came out with a green cape, a metal breastplate and leather underpadding. It was all stitched and strapped together.

「Barbarian's armor」

A piece of resilient armour that looks fitting for a bandit king.

+5S 2W

"Are you trying to make me look like a bandit lord?" I asked. He shook his head and shoved it towards me.

"Try it on, lad. See how it fits."

I changed inside one of his changing stalls. The armour fit over my shirt easily. I didn't have greaves to protect my legs, but the armour was good nonetheless. The looks and name could be improved though.

"Ah, It's perfect!" Raphtalia squealed. She had stars in her eyes and marvelled at the armour. I grimaced. The armour did make me look like a barbarian.

"It has good stats. I'll take it." The armour, at least I hoped, would protect me. That dog bite hurt like hell after we got out of the cave.

A chime made me look at the timer in the corner of my vision. Ten minutes.

"Alright, then. I'll be off. Here's your payment." I stuck a bag of coins on the counter.

Right before I closed the shop door, I poked my head back in and looked at the shopkeeper.

"Thanks, Erhardt."

He smiled at me and waved.

_8 minutes. _I walked up to the church building. Just a matter of waiting now.

"Naofumi-sama?" I turned to look at Raphtalia.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted you to know... I'll go where ever you will go. I am your sword, you're my shield. And... thanks. For keeping me."

I smiled at her words. Purity and innocence resonated with them. I was going to respond, but a ringing sound filled my ears. The timer hit 0:00, then vanished. I felt a floating sensation, then I was in a different place.

The wave had begun.

**A/N: The wave begins. This series I realise works less well than Saint's. Cause this story's harem doesn't come into play till much later, so it's just gonna be Filo vs. Raphtalia shenanigans for the next few chapters.**

**Announcement time! This series will be going on a schedule. Nothing straining, (updating every other day for Twinning contributed to this delay) only one chapter biweekly. I go on summer vacation soon, so I hope to write a few chapters in advance over the summer to keep up a constant schedule over the next few months.**

**And like the last chapter, covering main points in the reviews.**

**[Don't worry about your word count!]**

**I know, I know. Bad habits die hard. Er… rather they grip onto your soul and pull you down with them until you finally kick their hands off. I'll try. Still, to make sure I'm covering enough per chapter, I'm setting a loose goal of between 3k and 5k per chapter. More than that, It'll be hard to find a good ending point to break it off, less than that, I won't cover enough to move fast enough with the story to get to my favorite parts.**

**{Malty! Malty! Malty!]**

**Yes, I have plans for Bitch-sa… I mean Slut-san. They are coming.**

**[I liked your chapter!]**

**Thanks! I appreciate the appreciation.**

**Alright then, tune back in two weeks from now for: Party Hard? Party Hard!**


	4. Party Hard? Party Hard!

**A/N: Yes, I'm over a week late. No, I am not dead. No, I won't be abandoning this fic. Seems the schedule hasn't worked out. Owo.**

We appeared on the top of a ridge overlooking a village. A sign read 'Riyutte.'

"Raphtalia, we need to get to the village now! Our priority is to evacuate the villagers!"

She nodded and we ran down to the road. The other heroes laughed and made some joke then laughed again. They began running in the opposite direction. Seriously? People's lives are at stake here. Not the best time to be playing the RPG card here.

"Leave them, Naofumi-sama." I looked at Raphtalia. She had a determined look on her face. I nodded and we continued running.

By the time we got to the village, lizardmen were swarming a quick barricade the villagers had put up. I rushed in and knocked one off the barricade. Raphtalia came in and slashed it across the stomach, then stabbed another. I bashed that one off her blade and she sliced another. I climbed over the barricade.

"We got this. Evacuate everyone to that hill over there. If you have carriages, bring them and line them up in a circle and get everyone inside, got that?" I said. They nodded and rushed away. Raphtalia climbed over the barrier. She grabbed a few pitchforks from the ground and threw them over the barrier. The barrier broke.

"Let's go make sure everyone's out!" Raphtalia said. She went down an alleyway while I went down the main street. The reptilians were invading every single corner of the town. I used my shield to bash away some lizardmen and used Shield Prison to protect a few stray people. Soon, most of the wave's entire force was centred on me.

Raphtalia came sliding out from an alley. I could see her face physically drop from the number of monsters.

**Thoughts: There's at least strength to be gained...**

...and a classic Raphtalia. Since the doggo incident, she's become more selfish, not that it was a bad thing, and also more into training. Like, really into it. It's odd to wake up to her doing push-ups next to my bed in the inn.

She slayed the monsters closest to me and started keeping up with my sprinting.

"Naofumi-sama, why do you have a battalion of monsters chasing you?" She asked.

"They latched on like a zombie horde!"

"What?!"

"Nothing!"

She pulled me over a wall. The horde of monsters continued on like an angry mob from a cartoon. Complete with smoke and random legs in the air.

I heaved but probably could still run a few more kilometres before running out of steam. Seems my stamina is linked to my stats.

"Okay, let's go meet up with the other heroes. The villagers should be able to fend off stray monsters that come their way." I said. As I was about to start out of the town, streaks of orange light shot into the air.

"What's that?" I asked. Raphtalia shook her head.

They collected into one point. The orange ball turned a bright white, then exploded. I noticed the streaks emerging from the ball getting bigger and bigger.

"Raphtalia!" I pulled her under my cloak and activated Shield Prison. Even through the interlocked iron, I could hear the crackle of the burning homes outside.

The shields disappeared a few moments after the whoosh of fire raining died out. So much for avoiding collateral damage.

"Ha ha ha, all of them are burning! Smell the sweet smoke of those monsters dying!"

My fist clenched. The army, huh?

They turned the corner. The house behind them had its roof collapse.

"Oh, look. Seems the Shield hero is tougher than we thought!"

I had an urge to bash in the face of the commander right then and there. My fist clenched and-

"Did you do this knowing Naofumi-sama was here?"

Raphtalia had shot forwards. The knight just dodged the blade narrowly.

The commander ordered his men to draw their swords. "You're with the Shield Bastard, aren't you?"

"I am Naofumi-sama's sword! Don't you dare disrespect him!"

"You think you can point your blade at royal guards? Such arrogant Demi-human filth."

"What knight forgets the people he swears to protect?"

I noticed a large monster starting to run towards the main group.

"Drop it, Raphtalia," I said. She protested for a second, then looked behind the knights. Her arm twitched, but I moved forward to stop her hand.

"That's right, you demi-human. Listen to your master, that damned Shield Villan, and we won't be forced to make a 'mistake'"

"Yeah, By the way, hope you make tasty monster feed. Wouldn't want them to get a stomachache."

"Huh?"

The commander turned around to face a large goblin. Leather bound its fat belly.

"A-ah.. Men! Stay in formation! Don't falte-"

Clang.

"Want to die an honourable death? " I yelled. "Sorry, but not today! Raphtalia!"

She leapt forwards. Her new sword carved through the leather and flesh like butter.

"Naofumi-sama! More incoming!"

I looked forwards. Another group of goblins was running up.

"Leave them!" the commander yelled. "Let's go help the real heroes!"

Fucking cowards. Can't even handle 10 goblins with a full company?

A platoon stayed behind, glancing between me and Raphtalia and the rest of their group.

"Go. You've done enough." I said to them. They looked at me sympathetically.

"Soldiers! Support the Shield Hero!" the leader yelled. I sighed.

"Raphtalia." I looked at her. She nodded.

I charged forward and rammed my shield into one of the goblins, stumbling it.

Raphtalia followed in, stabbing through it and getting another goblin in the chest. She pulled her sword back and slashed at another monster.

I bashed any monster that got too close, and Raphtalia ended their conscious existence. Now that I say that, I realize that it sounds really bad from that perspective. Goblins have families too, right?

Urgh... dammit. Morals getting in the way. Ignore them for now... Ignore them for now…

「Sinful feat of Wrath! 」

Karma down!

Ah, fuck.

The goblins laid dead, and the knights stared. One of them let out a "Wow."

"Go back to your commander before he ends up punishing you."

"Y-Yes, sir." the leader stuttered out. He was young, maybe younger than me.

They ran off. As they disappeared, so did the crimson from the sky.

"It's over," Raphtalia said. "Did... did I really help?"

"Yes."

And like that, the first wave had-

「Technically, second.」

Shut up, you.

Raphtalia convinced me to go to the banquet the trash royalty was holding. At least I'd be given some money at the end of this.

"Naofumi-sama! Try this cake!"

I looked over to Raphtalia. I don't think I should since it might...

Nevermind, that cake looks delicious, I want it now.

"Sure," I said. She held the fork to my mouth. I took the cake into my mouth and chewed. I frowned. It was soft and squishy like a cake should be, but no sweetness or anything. Oh, right. I can't taste. Awww.

"I'm not sure I like it, Raphtalia," I said. She made a 'harrumph' sound and then rushed away.

**Thoughts: I'll find something he likes for sure!**

I sighed. She sometimes acts like a serious veteran warrior and other times like a child. I mean, it's just this interface's influence, right? There's no way she could actually be falling for me? Right?

「And that's where you're wrong, kiddo.」

Oh, don't lie to me. Once I figure how to get rid of you, she's gonna go back to normal, not crushing on me. Okay?

「Oh, we'll see about that.」

Grrr... this dating sim likes shoving itself under my skin and punching at the nerves there.

Raphtalia spent the rest of the night feeding me different foods. I couldn't bring myself to give more than a "un" of acknowledgement that, indeed this is food.

Meanwhile, the goddamn dating sim annoyed me with its words.

「Love's like herpes. You never know you have it until it ruins your life.」

What the fuck!?

「Truth hurts, kiddo.」

Oh, can you for the love of god, shut the hell up?

「Hey, I'm the one stuck with you.」

You're the one making me want to go and take that guy's helmet off his head and use it to bash my own skull in.

I tuned out the rest of the babbling. Raphtalia was still rushing around, determined to get me something I'd like to eat. Sorry, but I can't taste.

I glanced around. Slut-san was still clinging to Motoyasu like he was human catnip. The knight commander was bragging about his 'accomplishments' during the wave. Liar.

"Naofumi-sama! Try this!"

Raphtalia held a plate of sausage and bread in front of me. I took a fork and put the mat into my mouth. It was bland and tasteless like every other single food.

"Raphtalia, you don't have to try and find something for me to enjoy. I don't like these sorts of parties, I'm only here for the reward money afterwards." I said. She pouted.

"Naofumiiiii!"

Motoyasu came stomping over.

"I challenge you to a duel!"

What!? "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Raphtalia-chan's your slave, isn't she?"

"So? It's legal here."

"We're heroes from another world! We can't do that!"

"Says who? God? If god existed, then I wouldn't be in this hell!"

"Still, It's wrong to have slaves. If I win the duel, you free her!"

What the hell is this guy talking about? "What's in it for me?"

"You keep her, if you win that is."

The whole room laughed at that. I gritted my teeth.

"Hah, No. I refuse."

After this, the king chirped in. "I've overheard this conversation. To think, a hero would own a slave. I order you to accept his duel."

"And if I refuse?"

"Then we will take her from you forcefully."

Oh, you fuckers.

"I am with Naofumi-sama of my own wi-" Raphtalia got cut off by two knights. She struggled as they covered her mouth, gagged her and put some ropes on her hands.

"Hey!" I moved back towards her, but guards crossed their swords in front of me.

Fuck. They frame me first, set me up to fail second, and then try to pull the stilts I've built to keep my head above the water. I swear on my life, you fucking trash, I will break you.

"You better give her back if I win, bastard."

More laughing. I'll show them.

We moved to a sandy arena and stood on opposite sides. The crowd was cheering for Motoyasu.

"The duel between the Spear and the Shield hero begins now! It shall end upon surrender or incapacitation of the other hero!" The king declared from his booth on the sidelines.

"Ha, a spear and a shield. Obvious how it'll end, right, Naofumi?"

"Fuck off."

"Now, Begin!"

Motoyasu levelled his spear at me and rushed forwards. I put my shield in front of it with little effort. The sharp tip clanged against my shield.

He swung his spear back around and tried to hit me from the side. He was still wearing that god-awful smirk of his.

"Like I said before..." He thrust at me from my flank. "I don't intend to lose!" I ducked and slammed his side with my shield. At the same time, I felt my arm lighten just a tiny bit.

"Ow! What the..." Motoyasu brought his arm up and showed a balloon chomping onto his side.

"You! Duels are supposed to be one on one!"

"So? You all made this fight unfair in the first place. Don't blame me for putting some weight on my end of the see-saw."

He ripped the balloon off his side and thrust his spear back at me again, this time using a special skill. "Chaos Spear!"

The energy of the blast slid me back.

"You see, spears, they're meant to be long, right?"

"Yes, so what?" He swung his spear back at me and I leaned out of range.

"Well, that also means they're a lever."

"Wha?!" I blocked his next slash and pushed on the spear. It turned out of his hands and fell to the ground. Instantly, I threw two balloons towards him.

"Shield Prison!"

I laughed as he screamed from inside the cage of iron. The people watching were whispering hurriedly about how it couldn't be true. Well, fuckers. You saw it with your own two eyes.

The shields dissolved back into the air. Motoyasu was laying on the ground with his teeth gritted. My balloons were still chomping at him. He reached for his spear. I put my foot on top of the spear.

"Surrender."

"No way!"

Alright, then. "Face or balls?"

"What?"

"I'm asking which do you not need, pretty boy. Your face or your balls?"

"WHAT!?"

"Actually... after seeing you in action, it'd be best for you genes to not recirculate. Balls it is!"

"No! Wait! I... I su-"

A big gust of wind toppled me to the ground. What the hell!? I looked back. Slut-san had her hand outstretched and green wisps leaving her fingers.

"GOD DAMN IIIIT! YOU CHE-"

My cry got cut off as Motoyasu grabbed his spear and thrust it against my throat. I grimaced.

"It's over Naofumi."

"No..." It is not. It is not! I WANT HER BACK!

「Shield Unlock!」

Lust Shield

Abilities:

Save/Load

Silicone Maiden

Swoon

No... none of this helps... I want something stronger! Something to get Raphtalia back! To crush them!

Damn it! Ever since I got here! Everyone turned against me! All of them. Not this time... she believed in me... I'm not leaving her behind!

They had led her back down to the bottom of the steps with her gag still on. A priest-like figure took a bottle with clear fluid inside it. Now's the time to act.

I pushed myself up and sprinted. First, I yanked Raphtalia back so that whatever the liquid was, it wouldn't touch her. The second thing I did was grab a knight's arm and pull it up. His sword got caught behind Raphtalia's gag and sliced through it. Third, I jumped back into the arena.

"NAOFUMI!" Motoyasu screeched. "How dare you try and take her back! You lost the goddamned duel!"

"You cheated! Your precious Myne cast a wind spell!"

"She did no such thing! Now accept your defeat!"

"Raphtalia, tell them what you've been trying to say."

"Eh?" Motoyasu looked at her in bewilderment. I didn't see the other heroes.

"Thank you, Naofumi-sama." She cleared her throat. "I am with Naofumi-sama of my own free will. I am his sword, I go where he goes. Don't you dare try to separate us just for the sake of your own self worth."

Motoyasu kept silent.

"Naofumi-sama has helped me, fed me, taken care of me. He's raised me like my parents would've, had they not perished." I flinched at that. I knew she was sensitive about it.

"But isn't he abusing you? He could've set you free when he bought you!" Motoyasu objected.

"This crest is nothing more than security for Naofumi-sama. If that's the requirement to stay with him, then it is nothing to me."

"W-What? But... how do we know you aren't just lying because he told you to?"

"The crest punishes the slave when they lie." I said. "Raphtalia, tell a small lie. Be careful so the system doesn't do too much."

"I am grateful of Motoyasu-san." She winced. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight. Ah, I guess those Wit points were useful.

"Uuu..." Motoyasu stood speechless. Ren and Itsuki appeared beside him.

"Give it up, Motoyasu. She's obviously telling the truth." Ren said.

"B-but... slavery still isn't right..." He mumbled.

"Raphtalia, do you want to keep the slave crest?"

"Er... yes?" She flinched just the tiniest bit.

"I mean what you want, not what you think I want."

"Then..." She looked at me with sad eyes. "No."

I nodded. "Get rid of her crest."

"Wha- Wait! Naofumi-sama!" I left the arena.

Split.

Raphtalia met me in the hallways of the castle. "Naofumi-sama!" I looked at her. She was barreling towards me. We collided and tumbled to the ground in a tackle hug. My eyes closed shut as my head hit the floor.

"Naofumi-sama... you told me you wouldn't ever leave me..." She was sobbing into my shoulder. Wait... she's much heavier than she should be for a preteen girl. And there's something soft on my che-

I opened my eyes. Raphtalia was much taller than she was before, and she had grown in... other areas as well. I was semi-tempted to give a light test squeeze to ensure I wasn't dreaming.

Wait, no! That belongs in your doujins, Naofumi! Stop that!

I snapped out of the surprise and started to return the embrace. "I didn't leave you behind. You promised to be my sword forever, right? I won't stop you."

"But then why? I.. I thought you didn't trust me or need me anymore..."

"Of course I need you. I'm a bumbling idiot with nothing but a shield." This elicited a giggle from her. "And the reason I got rid of it was because I trust you. I don't need a crest to tell me that you're a good person."

She looked up at me then clung to my chest.

「Event End!」

+100 AP to Raphtalia

+5 to all stats!

Stop it... you're ruining the moment.

Eventually, we got off the ground and she wiped her tears away.

"It's late. Let's get to bed."

That night, despite my protest she clung to the back of my shirt in bed.

**A/N: Ah… fluffy goodness. I have fun writing that last part. And those abilities you see… well they'll come into play later.**

**The schedule hasn't worked out, so I'll take the advice of those in the discord and put it out "When it's ready" but still, I'd like to aim for at least one chapter per month or more frequently. This story has had a lot more thought put into it than Twinning, which I still am working out a new version of.**

**Back to this story. I, like I did with Twinning, have no idea where this fic is going other than through the plot. Unlike Saint, I don't have an easy way out like "Ending SAO" here. I mean, I could cut it off at different points, but then I'd be cutting out lots of characters and other things I'd like to get in here.**

**Also, this fic has been going a bit slow. I meant to spend 9 chapters pre-Calmira, since after it would come most of the harem-y elements of Shield Hero. The next few chapters might rush through some things, but it's all to get to the meaty stuff. That, however, doesn't mean the next few chapters are gonna be boring. I have plans.**

**I'll be back next time for Cannibalistic Bird Lolis!**


	5. Fans,

**Hi, fans of this story.**

**It's been a while, huh. I never expected this fic to excel so well. It really wasn't supposed to be more than a late april fool's joke.**

**However, I've come to a decision. Using this bitly link (bit.ly, a slash and then 2WK2c1G) vote on the future of this fic.**

**Also, PM me what you'd like changed as I edit the current 4 chapters. **

**If enough people want it, I'll continue this fic. Not just as a random one-off thing, but rather as my NaNo project.**

**And of course, I'll try my hardest to stray away from anything too ridiculous. I see the young, inexperienced writer here in this fic. Its the same one that wrote ASS 2 (which shalt never see the light of day, ever) and Litter. **

**So, cast your vote. Do you want to see a ressurection? And if so, what's to be changed?**

**Thank you, from**

**ByteOfBacon,**

**Or as my friends know me,**

**Kevin.**


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